Posted by admin on May 21st, 2008 — Posted in Living Self Improvement
If you don’t feel good about yourself, you have to fix it. There’s no other way
around it. You can’t raise confident kids, have a healthy relationship, or get
satisfaction from your job if you don’t. This comes from someone who did not, for
most of her life, feel worthwhile. Many books come from the perspective of an
expert, someone who already has a healthy sense of self-worth, which I believe
immediately sets up an alienating perspective between them and us, those who
“know” and the rest of us who struggle with this issue. They assume they know
better. They may think they know better, and have a worthwhile plan, but we know
what it is really like, we have experienced and not just judged our self-defeating
behavior.
We all have varying degrees of self-doubt. A person can be wildly successful in their
life, and still have deep-seated feelings of worthlessness. There is a fear of
discovery that others will come to see what’s behind the curtain in Oz. So we strive
to accomplish more and more, climb to greater heights, yet it’s never enough. You
may try to hide it, this low sense of self-worth, but like the alcoholic who wants to
keep his drinking a secret, but staggers nonetheless, it is a visible illness. To
continue the analogy, I want to be sober. In this case sobriety equals integrity and
confidence.
Here is where to begin. It’s the Victim Thing. The most tragic or toxic aspect of
victim hood is that victims don’t know they are playing the part of the victim. They
see all around them evidence of betrayal, duplicity, and injustice so their victim
status is validated and for the most part goes unquestioned. This is why I say, be
careful, or the discovery that you have been wronged may be the last discovery you
make. We all have injustice and dysfunction in our lives. We have to come to
understand that these are just events that come and go. Again, It’s not the
circumstances that define us; it’s how we react to them.
Some of us could and do spend many hours, years, in therapy or in our rooms trying
to figure out how we got to be this way, butthis is essentialnone of it matters. It
truly doesn’t matter how we got to be damaged goods, or rather, it may matter to
you, but it is not the solution; it is simply part of a very long and complicated story.
You may very well know how and when you got to this point, but leave the blame for
now and ask instead what comes next?
Life is about choices. I can feel trapped in my life, but I can choose to begin writing
this. I can choose to eat a healthy meal. I can choose to go for a walk. I can choose
how to respond to my significant other. Every conscious choice I make brings me
that much closer to the integrity I seek, or makes it less likely. The consequence of
choosing is to remove myself from the victim role. Victims don’t create their lives;
they react to them.
Acceptance is central to the process of coming out from under our victimhood. I
would say that it is one of the basic tenets of all spiritual traditions, one that we can
use in our everyday life, in the mundane and tragic circumstances within which we
find ourselves. Like making conscious choices instead of reacting, it takes practice. I
am stuck in traffic. I have lost my job. I am sick. One alternative is protest, anger,
and bitterness. A person with low self-worth takes these things personally. A person
with integrity and confidence accepts and adapts.
The key question in any adverse circumstance is, “What do I do now and next?”
Sometimes all you can do is breathe deeply. Other times you can take definitive
action, but again, you are making conscious choices instead of reacting, you are
accepting your circumstances. Everything changes. This applies to the good
situations as well as to the negative. That is why the phrase, “This too shall pass,” is
so powerful. Peace of mind comes from accepting yourself, your life, wherever you
happen to be at any given time.
Acceptance is the bottom line. Good choices grow from acceptance. There will
always be someone better or worse off than we are. Good and bad things happen to
us and to others and can happen at any time. Our life may have been difficult or a
breeze. Who’s to say? You are. I am. To say that something is unfair is to return to
the victim mode. Don’t live a life of protest. You’ll miss so much of what is given.
Think of the world and it’s mysterious ways as an impersonal agency, so there is
nothing served by anger and resistance. We only succeed in restricting ourselves
further. We are worthwhile in our own shoes, where we stand. Practicing and
believing this is so brings the part of ourselves that we love to the surface, and then
the way gets easier and clearer.
This is a condensed excerpt for Colette Kelso’s book, Who’s a Loser?. Read the book to find a way out of a
difficult situation, a difficult perspective.
If you’re in the job market, visit I need a job. You need a job?.
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Posted by admin on May 14th, 2008 — Posted in Living Self Improvement
My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years I have counseled thousands of personal trainers, fitness directors and gym owners on how be successful in the health and fitness industry. No matter where I go in the world, no matter the size of the gym the biggest reason for their lack of success is all the same. My question is, “Do you want to be a mediocre Personal Trainer or do you want to be a GREAT one?
Most of you will only be good ones if you are lucky. Only about five percent of you will be GREAT. What I mean by being a great personal trainer falls into three categories: love what you do, self employed and make a six figure income consistently. Here is how:
Part C: C is for Client (driven)
Remember why they hired you
Clients go to gyms and trainers for two things; encouragement and accountability. Balance them both and you will no problem with client retention.
The Psychology of Personal Training
Learn each client’s personality quickly. One program does not fit all. This is more important than your charts or membership numbers!
Client Retention
It is not how many clients you have; it’s how many you keep. If you don’t keep you clients on an average of six months or more, you need my help! If you have no shows you need my help. If you have cancellations you are doing something wrong and never be a $100,000 dollar personal trainer. More is not better!
Here is the Intro to my e-book - “It’s NOT about the Numbers!”
The personal training business is more unpredictable than even a sales, straight commission base job. It shouldn’t be, but most clients treat the service as a disposable income luxury. However, the customer still comes first, always!
A mental mistake I have made is focusing more so on my cash flow to pay bills than simple customer service. It really is true, focus on servicing your customer and the money will follow. I have also made the mistake of taking my business for granted. Be careful! If you have been a trainer for any length of time you know, that your income can fluctuate hundreds of dollars in any given week. One thing I try to keep in mind is,
You are only as successful as your last client. Treat each session as if your business depended solely upon them.
Greg Ryan is a Health club and personal trainer consultant, high profile fitness expert and former employee of Kathy Smith. He is best selling author of “It’s NOT aout the Numbers!” Discover how to make $100,000 year after year For FREE MINI COURES email me at greg@resolutions.bz
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Posted by admin on April 2nd, 2008 — Posted in Living Self Improvement
The original article contains an image of a sad clown. This can be found on my blog through my website.
The sad clown attracts us and evokes a feeling of sadness and compassion. Have you ever noticed that the sadness and compassion really feels like it is for you? Often we live our suppressed emotional experiences through some other external situation, mainly entertainment. Once we’re in a safe environment, it’s okay to let it out. Except, you’ve buried so many emotions, you’re not sure what is left unexpressed. It can derail you at any time, upsetting your equilibrium, setting the waterworks at the drop of a hat, and blazing the rage with a tiny spark.
Consider a new way of being in this world; a way that allows the expression and understanding of your emotions. Imagine being present for others who are enmeshed in difficult times, barely coping to keep their emotions in check. What healing can occur! What strength will be gained! What friendship and loyalty will be developed! What team support will be developed! What courage will be found!
- If we’re human, then what does it mean to be human?
- If we’re spirit, then what does it mean to be spirit?
- If we’re emotions, then what does it mean to be feelings?
- If we’re the mind, then what does it mean to be thoughts?
- If we’re soul, then what does it mean to be soulful?
I believe we are spiritual beings having a physical, human experience. Within in that context, we experience many things on many levels. Could it be that this is what it means to be a multi-dimensional being? I’m not interested in empirical evidence and succinct clarity; I’m interested in the experience of being and life. The complexity of existence and the human entity absolutely requires an element of faith and trust in an inner core that cannot be defined by science.
Lee Down is a Professional Coach, Trainer/Facilitator, Speaker, & Writer of One Man Can Human Capital Development that focuses on relationships, the key foundation to success in business and life. With more than 15 years professional experience and a thirst for truth and understanding, he focuses on the human spirit and human capacity.
Working with clients, he facilitates the breaking down of beliefs, barriers or obstacles that bring clients forward on their journey of discovery with spirit, energy, abundance, passion and purpose, integrating the mind and body experience. Working with business, he brings visionary leadership and relationship skills to the forefront that witnesses an empowered culture evolve and develop directly impacting the improvement to the bottom-line.
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Posted by admin on March 30th, 2008 — Posted in Living Self Improvement
Activity Keeps You Young
Life thrives on action. People who savor life fill their days with activity, and when they’re not active, they feel less than what they ought to be. Action allows you to avoid feeling sluggish and dull, conditions that occur when you prematurely stop your momentum.
Life thrives with activity in that increased activity pumps life-giving blood through your veins and arteries at a greater rate. It’s the boost to blood racing through your body while supplying your cells and organs with health enriching oxygen and nutrients, and flushing away deposits of harmful toxins. Plenty of enjoyable exercise helps to rid your body of built-up waste deposits that take years away from your life span.
Inactivity is like a narcotic - deceptive with a promise of pleasure - it distracts you from normal pursuits and allows stagnation to occur. Once it has a hold over you, it doesn’t let you go.
Toxins increase, because they become settled in cells and tissues rather than being flushed away by an ample blood supply. If you’re feeling dull or listless, you have blockages that cause your inactivity and prevent you from obtaining your dreams.
Positive Action Gets Things Done
You dream of what you want from life. As the years pass, certain dreams don’t happen, and you’ll set aside some dreams and replace them with new ones. To have a chance of realizing your dreams, you must focus upon what is essential to fulfill them and then take action to achieve the desired result. Cavett Robert, one of America’s outstanding speakers says the following about taking action:
“A constructive life is built of the things we do - not of the things we don’t do. Never forget that the only material used in building a constructive life is positive action.”
Positive action gets things done. Some people are famous for being a dreamer, but these people most likely followed their dreams by taking action. Successful dreamers - writers, builders, inventors, speakers and others - took action to transport their dreams from thought into reality.
Know What You Want From Life
Living your life with any degree of momentum requires action and action requires doing something. Your determination focuses an action and brings it to a point of completion. The strength of your determination is proportionate to the probability of your success.
Clear, organized and well-conceived thoughts inspire actions that don’t waste energy. Often, people live their lives drifting from one experience to another, wasting both time and energy. People “drift” when they either don’t have a plan or simply don’t act upon their plan.
Those people will find that their life is not on course. They aren’t living joyfully and successfully. They aren’t sure how to avoid “drifting.” And are not sure how to direct their course.
Having a Goal Directs Your Course
To direct your course, you need to be clear about where you want to go - you need a goal. The more clearly you etch a goal into your mind, the easier the goal will be to accomplish. A goal gives you a destination; deep thought gives you a plan and focused action gives you the possibility to attain your plan.
While working on your plan, rest and recharge your energy, especially if your goal is difficult to achieve. Allow your mind to rest because you come across many stressful situations. Know how to deal with your stress. Some stress causes too much action - frantic action - and some stress causes too little action - laziness.
The first step toward having a satisfying, joyful life is to begin to know yourself well. The time you spend in meditation, deep thought or prayer will give you insight and momentum to take action on your life’s plan.
© 1997-2005 by Mary L. Rodio, Ph.D.
Formulator of Dentizyme and other natural remedies, Dr. Rodio is an Ethnobotanical Research Scientist and the Director of Natura Health Services, Inc. in Scottsdale, Arizona. She researches how plants, foods, and customs influence the health of cultures around the world - socially, emotionally, and physically.
You can access the Natura website at http://www.NaturaRx.com or call 480 451-0168.
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Posted by admin on March 20th, 2008 — Posted in Living Self Improvement
Health and Happiness are the two things that most people will tell you they desire most. Ask a parent what they want most for their child and they will almost always say, “I really don’t care, as long as they are healthy and happy.” Sometimes people say they want love, success or wealth, but when asked why, they think for a moment and then say because these things would make them happy.
Usually people desire health above all else but only when they feel that it is threatened. People rarely think about health when they are young, fit, pain and disease free.
The single most sought after life experience is happiness.
If you made a list of the things you wished to improve in your life and then added notes alongside each item, detailing the amount of time and effort you were putting into each one, you would be greatly surprised at the lack of logic and or commitment you are applying to increasing or maintaining happiness. You may have happiness as the thing you most desire but your notes may reveal you spend 50 hours a week at your career, 10 hours housekeeping and 20 hours watching T.V. Next to the word ‘Happiness’ you may find, ‘10 minutes’ or more likely, ‘No time at all’.
Have you ever even stopped to think about what it is that makes you happy? Has it ever dawned on you to actively pursue happiness? Most of us simply consider happiness to be a random act that catches us fleetingly and disappears all too soon.
Happiness has fascinated me my entire life, I constantly seek it and play with it. I’m getting better at prolonging it and faster at recognizing it.
Honestly, sometimes I just sit and focus on happiness until, “I bring it on”.
It takes a little concentration, sometimes some memory and sometimes imagination. Practise and focus have resulted in my ability to simply decide to be happy and I remind myself to do this often. I used to wait and be surprised and delighted when something caused me to be happy until I realized I could actually get happiness without an event or situation.
When happiness comes accidentally it entices us to, “be in the moment”. Most of us are mentally in a perpetual state of being in the past or future most of the time. In happiness, we pull our attention into the present moment to fully experience this great feeling. (Pain also has this ability.) I mention this, as I know that the most essential requirement for happiness is to practise, ‘Living in the present moment’.
Happiness is a present moment experience.
A couple of my other favourite quotes, which illustrate this point, are:
Life is what happens while your busy making other plans. (John Lennon)
This is not a dress rehearsal - This is your life.
These days will one day become the good old days.
Between the wanting and the getting - Is the living.
We all wait for happy events to come and find us or we sometimes actively seek out things that we believe will bring us happiness. Winning money, buying a big-ticket item, getting married, having a child, a holiday, a promotion or finding a new lover are usually considered to be happy events. Many of us spend a great amount of time, effort and money actively pursuing these things.
Unfortunately these things come with a ‘Happiness expiry date’.
Ironically, we often find our happiness list reverses on us at a later date. We then hear, “I’ll be happy when my divorce comes through, when I retire, when the kids leave home.” The car you once dreamed about owning is now just a costly mode of transport. Your bride has become your witch and your home is cluttered with things you long forgot you even possess.
Happiness is not about having - Happiness is about being.
We have all heard it before but we must constantly remind our selves, ‘Happiness comes from within’.
Happiness is internally generated not externally manufactured.
Happiness is not a tonic with a recipe; I cannot give you a list of things to do to guarantee your happiness. Some people seem to never be happy, no matter what and yet other people are just filled with joy for the simplest reasons. Most of the time I am happy for no particular reason at all other than the fact that I choose to be.
There are two basic principles that I do consider to be imperative;
One; Is actively pursue, maintain, expand and share happiness.
Two; Is minimize, eliminate and repel unhappiness.
The most important aspect of happiness is to choose what thoughts you will entertain and which thoughts you will dismiss.
Eliminate what you hate.
This is going to sound a little obvious but it’s amazing when you get down to it, just how much grief you may be hanging onto without ever giving it any serious thought at all. “How much of your time, emotion and energy are you wasting on maintaining things that make you unhappy?”
Some people spend their entire working life is jobs that are almost soul destroying. Many people stay in relationships that are physically, mentally and emotionally draining. We may have friends, colleagues, neighbours or relatives that simply, ‘drive us crazy’ and yet we maintain them. Some people hold on to addictions or habits that time and again bring about the same destructive outcome and yet they still go around and around repeating the cycle over and over. If you are serious about increasing your happiness level you must first define what makes you unhappy and take action to eliminate it.
Being unhappy robs us of our health by depleting our energy.
Love and happiness are the highest and lightest forms of energy. This higher, lighter form of energy is self-generating. Unhappiness robs us of energy and if left unchecked will lead to depression and tiredness. Your energy level is a great way to measure your happiness or your stress level. It is also gives you an accurate indication of your health in general. Happiness and love will fill you with energy and a good supply of energy will bring you more joy.
If it brings your Grief - Make it Brief.
Where is your focus and what is your perception? Almost every terrible thing that ever happened to you only happened in your imagination. Just think back over the last year and remind yourself of the things that had you tossing and turning in bed at night. Try and recall all the things that really had you worried, scared or upset.
How many actually happened? And of the ones that did happen, how many were anywhere near as bad as you had imagined?
Stepping up and stepping out of our comfort zones.
You know the saying, “One door closes and another door opens.” I’ve often been very frustrated with this, as I wondered, “Why doesn’t the new door ever open before the old door closes?” It seems to me that more often than not, my doors close long before the new doors open and I have spend a long time being panicked in corridors.
It’s scary! Life gives us many situations in which we lose our comfort zone long before our new life is revealed to us. Ah, life in limbo! We handle it badly, but a fact of life it is. In reinventing yourself you are going to have to accept that limbo is not only a high probability but you are also going to have to actively take yourself there deliberately.
I have often thought of my life pushing me up an arduous mountain and leaving me with no way of going back, I imagine fire moving swiftly behind me, threatening me and pushing me forward. When I reach the top of the mountain I realize I must jump or be engulfed by the fire. The terror of believing I will either be burned to death or smashed against the rocks at the bottom of the mountain has me completely immobilized.
Then somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a voice, “Jump, you can fly!”
If you want small, safe changes to occur in your life then the effort and risk will not be so frightening but if you really wish to “Step out and step up” You had better accept that you will need to be Bold and Brave. You will never fly if you won’t leave the ground.
Sonya Green West Australian Author and Personal Growth workshop facilitator. Writer and producer of guided meditations and webmaster of http://www.reinventingmyself.com
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