Posted by admin on May 1st, 2008 — Posted in Kids Stuff
Want to get your parenting efforts off to a great start this year? Are you serious about including some mothering or fathering resolutions in your 2006 goals? Do you plan to make family a top priority during the next 12 months? If so, why not consider these two words of advice: passion and grace?
This year I resolve to increase passion for my family by firmly holding in my consciousness my desire to succeed at home first.
I resolve to demonstrate grace in my family by taking the stance that mistakes are permitted here. I intend to see errors not as errors but as opportunities for growth and as data that can be used for learning.
I resolve to increase passion in my family by demonstrating my belief that the single best thing I can do for my children is to love their mother (father).
I resolve to increase grace in my family by focusing on fixing problems rather than on fixing blame. To that end, I will be solution oriented without attacking character or personality in the process.
I resolve to show passion for my family by strengthening feelings of connectedness through the creation of family rituals, preservation of the family history with photo albums and scrapbooks, and the repeated telling of stories that reveal our family traditions and uniqueness.
I resolve to bring grace to my parenting role by seeing my children as unfinished. I know that God has not completed His job with any of us, myself included. I will keep that in mind as my children move down their own path toward becoming who they were intended to be.
I resolve to increase passion for my family by increasing my presence. I will increase both the amount of time I am physically present for my family and the level of emotional presence I bring to those times when I am there.
I resolve to show grace in my family by not making my children wrong for their actions, even as I hold them accountable for those actions. I see implementing consequences as one of the most loving things that I can do as a parent, and I will perform that role with an open heart.
I resolve to show passion for my family by demonstrating physical affection through hugging, kissing, holding, nurturing, smiling, and using caring, sustained eye contact with all family members.
I resolve to demonstrate grace in my family by seeing it all as perfect. If my children are choosing appropriate behaviors, that is perfect. If they are choosing inappropriate behaviors, that too is perfect. It is the perfect time for me to allow them to experience consequences and to teach some new behaviors. If these resolutions are working for you, that is perfect. If they are not working, it is the perfect data needed for you to create the necessary adjustments.
Put passion and grace into your family during this coming year. Use them to make 2006 your best parenting year ever.
Happy New Year.
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: http://www.chickmoorman.com or http://www.thomashaller.com.
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Posted by admin on April 28th, 2008 — Posted in Kids Stuff
Stretch marks. Striae Gravidarum. The marks of pregnancy. Call them what you will. But they are the one thing that all women dread will occur as soon as they get pregnant.
- But what are stretch marks anyway? And why do they occur?
Well, the reason lies in the anatomy of the skin. The skin has two layers - a thin upper layer called the epidermis, and a thicker, lower layer called the dermis. Scattered in the dermis are fine protein filaments called elastin that, like a piece of rubber band, are capable of stretching on being pulled. But just as a rubber band can stretch only so far and no further, these elastin fibres can also be stretched only to a certain extent. If stretched further, they snap. The increasing bulk of the uterus during pregnancy causes the skin to stretch to a great extent and the elastin fibres are torn. The torn elastin produces scars on the skin called Stria Gravidarum or stretch marks.
- They occur on the lower abdomen of all pregnant women, right?
Well, right and wrong. They appear in most pregnant women, but not in all and not just on the lower abdomen. Stretch marks occur when the skin is stretched in a very short period of time, as in pregnancy or in obesity. They occur:
- In the lower abdomen in pregnancy.
- Along the sides of the breasts either in pregnancy or in obesity.
- Upper thighs.
- Occasionally even on the inner sides of the upper arms.
- But can stretch marks be prevented?
Thankfully, the answer is yes, to a certain extent. Although some women are genetically prone to develop stretch marks, it has been noted that athletes and women accustomed to heavy, physical labour get very few or no stretch marks. This is regardless of whether their female relatives have stretch marks or not. The reason for this is that that these women have very well-developed and strong abdominal muscles. These muscles can easily take the weight of the growing uterus and prevent it from pressing forwards on the skin - rather like wearing a strong muscular belt under the skin. The skin is thus stretched less, less elastin fibres are damaged, and there are fewer stretch marks.
Again a supple, healthy, well moisturized skin is capable of stretching more without any lasting damage. So if a woman can strengthen her abdominal muscles and keep her skin healthy and supple, there is less chance of her developing stretch marks.
- But how? How do I develop my muscles and keep my skin moisturized?
Gentle exercises for the abdominal muscles can be started as soon as pregnancy has been confirmed or even as pregnancy is being planned.
- Exercise 1 : Standing erect, raise both arms above the head. Bend forward slowly to touch your toes. Hold the position for a count of 100. Then slowly straighten up. Do this exercise at least once daily.
- Exercise 2 : Standing erect, raise both arms above the head and clasp your hands. Now bend slowly to your left as far down as you feel comfortable. Hold for a count of 10. Straighten up slowly and then bend to your right. Hold to a count of 10. Straighten up. Exhale as you are bending and inhale while straightening up. This makes one set. Do at least 3 sets once daily.
- Exercise 3 : Stand straight with feet about 12 inches apart. Place hands on your back at the waist. Slowly bend back, as far back as you feel comfortable. Hold to a count of 10. Straighten up. Now bend forward slowly, hold the position to a count of 10. Then straighten up. Exhale as you are bending and inhale while straightening up. This makes one set. Do at least 3 sets once daily.
These three exercises will strengthen the abdominal and back muscles as well as gently stretch the skin. They also improve the posture during pregnancy.
Caring for the skin : Keep the skin moisturized by applying oil - olive oil, coconut oil, almond oil or any good baby oil - thoroughly over the skin of the abdomen, hips and thighs. Massage it in with sweeping upward strokes. You can do this before you exercise so that the oil is properly absorbed as the skin is stretched during exercise. This will make the skin supple and healthy and capable of stretching without damaging the elastin fibres.
A Good Diet : Take a good diet with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and adequate liquids. And do not forget your daily vitamins. This will ensure a healthy and supple skin.
- But what happens if the stretch marks have already occured? How do I get rid of them?
The good thing about stretch marks is that they fade over time. When they are first formed, they are reddish or purplish, but later they become thin silvery lines that may not be visible at first glance. The bad thing about stretch marks is that they can be removed permanently only by surgery. The elastin and collagen growth can be stimulated to some extent by cocoa butter, Vitamin E, wheat germ oil and lanolin. But to remove the marks completely, laser surgery, blue light therapy and other surgical treatments are the only options. Many creams and lotions available on the market also claim to be able to remove stretch marks but have yet to be medically proved.
Visit www.gynaeonline.com/care to learn more about Stretch Marks and other pregnancy related issues.
The author, Dr.M.D.Mazumdar is a consultant gynaecologist with more than fifteen years of experience in private practice. She runs an Online Consultation Clinic at http://www.gynaeonline.com , where she answers questions on Pregnancy and Gynaecology. For more information on Care during Pregnancy, click http://www.gynaeonline.com/care.htm
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Posted by admin on March 27th, 2008 — Posted in Kids Stuff
The first thing that most new parents think about is a bassinet or a crib. A bassinet is very small and is designed for babies, while a crib is designed for babies and toddlers. The main concern with a crib is that some children may find themselves wedged in between the bars, so pay close attention to the spacing if selecting a crib with your new baby furniture.
For those restless nights, a rocking chair is a must have. This is generally placed next to the bassinet or crib and is for one of the parents to spend time rocking their child back and forth, either to relax them or to help them fall asleep. This is an essential piece of baby furniture and must be well constructed in order to avoid any mishaps. If the chair is assembled upon purchase, double check it’s stability prior to use.
Another important piece of baby furniture is a changing table. This is commonly used for changing diapers, cleaning up after the baby and even dressing the child. It is important to keep the baby’s clothes in one of the changing table’s compartments or right next to the unit in a drawer. The reason that this is so important is so that your hand never leaves the child while on the table, so all clothes must be within reach so that you can safely reach for them while holding onto the child.
A baby bathtub is another essential piece of baby furniture and is designed especially for the little one’s comfort. These are found at any baby specialty store or in the newborn department at a local retail store.
Not necessarily classified as baby furniture, but necessary nonetheless is a baby stroller for taking your newborn for a short walk. In addition, a diaper bag with diapers and an extra change of clothes (for both you and the baby) should be taken along.
When selecting baby furniture, it is important to consider quality above all else. This is the furniture that stands between your child and the floor, so make sure that it is sturdy and secure. In addition, pay close attention to recalls on any baby furniture or accessories. From time to time, certain types of baby furniture may be involved in a recall by the manufacturer. If this is the case, the manufacturer typically offers to either provide a repair, replacement or refund for the baby furniture in question.
For more information about baby furniture, click the link to visit our website at www.babyfurnitureguide.info . We have some great free articles and resources about baby furniture.
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Posted by admin on March 22nd, 2008 — Posted in Kids Stuff
Dear Sir,
It was with some interest that I read the article What You Should Know About Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward W. after having it handed to me by a member of our church. There were elements of the article that were insightful, helpful, and needed to be said in a public forum, especially the discussion of the moral and spiritual dimensions of behavior. For this part of the article I applaud Mr. W.
However, Mr. W’s discussion on the physiological/biological aspects of ADD ADHD was lacking to the point of being misleading to the readers. I am sure that Mr. Welch had no intention of misleading any readers, as that would hardly reflect the “biblical guidelines with which to understand ADD” that he seeks to communicate. Therefore, for the sake of clarifying some details, may I present the following evidence. Perhaps in the near future you would run an article that would present some of this information to your readers, so that they have an accurate understanding of the disorder.
We continue the dialogue here in part five, Mr. W turns his attention to medications used to treat ADHD. He writes,
“That a stimulant drug would help some children focus seems paradoxical. You would expect that children would be even more physically and mentally excitable when taking it.”
First, the effects of Ritalin, or any stimulant including caffeine, are not “paradoxical” in ADHD individuals. They are predictable. And they are effective.
Two significant contributors to ADHD are a lack of dopamine, or an effective lack of dopamine, in the frontal lobes, and a restriction of blood flow in the frontal lobes. Research supports this.
Stimulants, from caffeine to Ritalin, are known to do two things well: increase blood flow, and increase dopamine levels in the brain. Therefore it is not paradoxical at all. One would expect that stimulants would increase performance for individuals with this condition, and they do in about 75% to 80% of the cases.
“One thing, however, is clear. Ritalin does not treat any known chemical deficiency in a child’s brain.”
What research supports this position? Why is this “clear?”
Ritalin does in fact “treat known chemical (deficiencies) in a child’s brain.” It does in fact increase the utilization of dopamine. This action and benefit is similar to other medications, such as antidepressants, used treat other known brain chemical deficiencies such as a lack of serotonin.
While it is true that stimulants to not “fix” the condition, this does not take away from its usefulness. Insulin does not “fix” diabetes either. But in the short-term, stimulants, like Insulin, works to “normalize” or at least “improve” the situation. To say that stimulants “are not a cure” is true. Insulin is not a “cure” either. But both are helpful.
Thank you for your time in considering this perspective.
This is the end to part five of this discussion. You can learn more about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder by visiting the ADHD Information Library’s family of web sites, beginning with http://www.ADD101.com.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library’s family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
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Posted by admin on March 19th, 2008 — Posted in Kids Stuff
1) It’s not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I’m just keeping it for someone else.
Yeah right. The next question for the parent to ask is, “If you are keeping this for your friend, what is your friend keeping for you?” One of the reasons parents can get fooled here is that you so desperately want to believe that it is not theirs and they are not doing drugs. It’s important to remember that this is something your teen might be counting on.
2) When caught with drugs - This is just the first time I’ve tried it.
Unlikely. Usually when kids get caught with and/or using some drugs, they have been doing it awhile. They have simply slipped up, gotten caught, and are trying to find a quick way out of it.
3) We don’ have homework in that class
Sometimes this is true. Or they have already done it at school. Often times it’s a good excuse for not doing homework, or for covering up for skipping class. Either way, it’s one of the easiest to check out by talking with the teacher. Which parents need to be doing anyway.
4) The teacher doesn’t like me
Maybe so. This is usually just a handy excuse for bad grades or getting in trouble. Either way, it’s the kid’s job to find a way to make it work, even if the teacher doesn’t like them. It’s simply practice for the real world, where not everyone is going to like you; sometimes even bosses or co-workers. The interesting thing about this one is the teens solution to the problem. It goes something like this - “Well, the teacher doesn’t like me, so I’ll show them by flunking the class.” And who is this hurting?
5) Of course there will be parents at the party
The answer to this one is, “If that’s true, then you certainly won’t mind me calling up your friend’s parents to see if there is anything I can do to help.”
6) Everyone else gets to do it, so why can’t I?
Another popular one designed to make parents feel guilty and old fashioned, so they will give in to something they think is wrong. My mother had a wonderfully confusing answer to this one; “If everyone else stood on their head in the middle of the street at three in the morning in their underwear, would you?” Probably would have.
7) Everyone drinks and smokes. There’s not a single person my age who doesn’t.
Many, many teenagers do. But not each and every one. I know of plenty who do not and have a very good time with what they do. Another one designed to get parents to tolerate behavior they don’t like.
If you let me off just this once, I’ll promise I’ll never do it again.
Another one parents want so badly to believe. Unfortunately, what the teenager usually learns here is that the parent really doesn’t mean it about consequences. While in some ways it might be easier to let them off the hook, it teaches very little about the real world.
9 & 10) Give me one good reason why I can’t do that!
This one gets two places because it is so common and so important. The crucial part not to believe here is that they are really asking for a legitimate answer to the question. After giving a well reasoned adult answer, here is something you will not hear from your teenager, “Well, thank you for explaining it that way to me folks! And now that you have, not only do I no longer what to do that, I’m embarrassed and ashamed for asking. Please forgive me and good night.” If your teen ever says this, call me quickly, something is really wrong!
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